At what age should you start to be embarrassed that you’re still single? Should you ever be embarrassed to say you’re single? Some people have this idea that by a certain age they should be married, or at least engaged or in a committed relationship. And society supports that view by making those of us that are single feel like super losers…like there has to be something wrong with us that contributes to this condition of being single. Yes I’m single, yes I’m happy, no I do not have cooties and I’m not crazy…well, maybe a little crazy, but who isn’t? I told you all in my previous blog that everyone has a little crazy in them on reserve to use when necessary.
I have never been embarrassed to tell anyone I’m single…until a few weeks ago. One day I was at the mall and while in a store shopping for shoes, because I can always use more shoes ;-), I was standing near this older woman when her husband approached her. In true male fashion, he started rushing her. She jokingly said something sassy to him and when he saw me laughing he laughed too and asked if I did my husband the same way. When I said I wasn’t married he said, “Well do you do your boyfriend that way?” My answer was a simple no, and I walked away. Now why did I not tell this complete stranger that not only am I not married, but I don’t have a boyfriend either? For a brief moment I thought about how he would look at me if I said that I had neither a husband or a boyfriend. I pictured him looking at me like “what is wrong with you little girl?”; almost like he would pity me for being alone.
For me, being single right now is a choice. I need to be fully comfortable and completely happy with myself before I can think about MAYBE letting someone special into my life. God is working on me and I have surrendered my life to Him and welcome the change He is taking me through. So I am usually never embarrassed to tell anyone that I am single. So what makes being single so undesirable and almost a curse for some? Well, I can tell you the one time of the year that is possibly the most popular time to not be single…Valentine’s Day. As I write this, flower, jewelry, and candy sales are going up as most of the world prepares for the big day of love…or lust for most. This is a day that most single people do not look forward to and often make it a goal to find someone as the holiday approaches so they don’t have to spend yet another Valentine’s Day alone. And some try to to get rid of the mates they already have in an effort to save money from buying a gift, but that’s a different blog.
So my question is, what makes you embarrassed to say you’re single? Is it your surroundings that make it taboo for you to be single? Is it your family and friends that make it seem like you’re cursed because you’re still single at whatever age you are? Does the pressure of all your friends being in relationships make it embarrassing for you to be the only one in your circle that’s single? I say none of those things should matter. You cannot let situations, a stigma, or your family and friends push you into a frenzy of finding someone. That frenzy could cause you to come home to your man wearing your new freak em dress. Or a girl that’s addicted to eating toothpaste and chasing it with rubbing alcohol. Now I know that was extreme, but it’s some weird stuff going on in this world. And nothing against the men that wear dresses or the toothpaste/rubbing alcohol girls, but these are things I need to know before I fall in love with you. So I’ll take my time and stay single until the right person comes along.Take your time and make sure you fall into the right kind of love with the right person. I know some of you may be tired of waiting and think that “right person” is never coming and it’s too late for you. I need you to keep in mind that Ephesians 3:20 says He is able to do immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine. That means you too can have that relationship that you desire. Don’t be embarrassed when someone ask if you’re still single. Hold your head high and take comfort in the fact that some of those that are looking down on you for being single are probably faking the happiness in their own “perfect” relationships. Instagram and Facebook photos don’t always show the full picture.
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Until next time Laughers…Keep Laughing
~Kitta
Kitta Garner 